Love Anyways (Reprised)

it's always Love Anyways

the widespread and constantly encountered desire to allow my striving to cease. it’s probably easy, it’s probably going to be what allows the sun to shine brighter. the decision to Love Anyways and to know what that means, it’s always true that it produces a stillness. my spirit lingers over the question

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I found the words above in my drafts, written a few years ago and I feel so amazed with the way my mind was working then. today I am so driven to producing perfect sentences and thoughts after years of working on copy for a fashion brand.

I feel like I must have been reading Clarice Lispector or journaling daily or in that era where I would tweet for an hour straight between 9:00 - 10:00pm in a fugue state. I deleted that twitter unfortunately but it had great success after my first night and opened up a new world for me.

I miss having a twitter to send off thoughts to the void but these days I write them on post it notes at work, hoping no one finds it when I take my 5th bathroom break of the day. notes like “resonance is everything, resonance over cynicism. oh the slightness of it all” what does that even mean? I don’t know, it doesn’t matter, it feels like the truest expression of my soul. I guess that means I have not lost it.

if i’m not scribbling, I am texting people when I should not be, creating chaos, being impulsive. I miss having a place to dump all the thoughts. I pinned substack on my work laptop so I can dump these thoughts mid shift and this honestly is feeling so much better than texting my boyfriend “is everything okay?? are things okay between us??” of course they are.

the above words reminded me of an era where I would tweet things like

I am going to Love Anyways.

this was one of my most successful tweets, right behind a tweet about young Sheldon.

I just did a deep dive in my camera roll and I am so sad to admit that I cannot find any screenshots of these tweets. there is no proof. I am devastated.

okay actually after more digging I found screenshots, one that an instagram account reposted and a text i sent to my partner while we were on a break but doing the Artists Way together, as my not so subtle way of telling him I was choosing to Love him Anyways (lmao)

the Love Anyways tweet ended up having 1 million views lol

anyways I guess I just want to be freely flowing with words again. I want constant poetry and prayer instead of sentences being so structurally sound for the purpose of selling a product

and I also want to come back to Love Anyways

I actually did end up releasing a song called Love Anyways after, I want the sentiment to live on in other mediums as well

here is the song

Love Anyways

Love Anyways

Love Anyways

<3